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Sunday, July 17, 2011

Little Ayn Poem

Little Ayn 

     Ayn is just a little girl, taken from her only world.

Little Ayn is only nine, but yet they have her doing time.

     In a world she does not know, they still refuse to let Ayn go.

If we could only make them see, the best thing is to let Ayn be.

     Her family loves her very much, now not even a loving touch.

Little Ayn needs their hugs, not those so called calming drugs.

     She needs her family more than ever, this family tie they shouldn't sever.

Little Ayn must be so scared, there was no way to be prepared.

     Little Ayn needs to know, her family will not let this go!

So PLEASE help undo this wrong , for little Ayn it has been way too long....

Please Help:

Join the cause here:

You can also contact those who may be able to make a difference:
Stephen Harper Office of the Prime Minister
80 Wellington Street
Ottawa, ON K1A 0A2
Fax: (613) 941-6900
Christy Clark
Premier of British Columbia
Parliament Buildings
Victoria, BC, V8V 1X4
Fax: (250) 387-0087
Mary McNeil
Minister of Children and Family Development
Room 306 Parliament Buildings
Victoria, BC V8V 1X4
Fax: (250) 387-9722
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Tuesday, June 14, 2011

"A Mothers Sorrow"

                                                   "A Mothers Sorrow"

     I remember it like it was yesterday "Your Son Has Autism". That day was a little over three years ago. My heart broke, I tried to talk and all I could do was cry. What, why, would, is he going to be able to have a normal, what?!! I couldn't even form a full sentence, through my heartbroken tears caused by those four words. My tears flowed for two hours after and just when I thought I had got myself together, I would look at my son and the tears would start flowing again. I hated the fact that I was now looking at my son differently. I felt guilty for looking at my son like he was broken or defective some how. Why did that woman have to say those four words? Now what I thought was cute or funny was "Autism". This wasn't cute or funny anymore, this was a sign that my son was never going to have a full life. He was never going to experience all the things in life I thought he would.. He was never going to have friends, girlfriends, marriage, children, a career, driving a car, a life. My son , my beautiful boy was never going to get to live a normal life!
     A few day's after my son's diagnosis I quickly went into denial, she's wrong ,that lady , that so called doctor, doesn't know what she's talking about. Brandon doesn't do that so he doesn't have "Autism" and look he isn't doing that either so he couldn't have "Autism". I was ignoring everything that he clearly did do that was "Autism".
     The doctor said he needed to get into therapy, okay fine , it's not like it's going to hurt him, even though I thought I had convinced myself, he didn't have "Autism". We made the appointment for his therapy evaluation. Today was the day ,off we go to this unnecessary therapy appointment. We got there and I met some parents as their children played and Brandon stayed by my side or crawled under the chair. I started watching these children playing and some even talking, some of them could even read at the age of three, they seemed even more normal than my son. So now that sinking feeling was coming back, that same feeling I had that day when that doctor diagnosed my son, except it was me that was saying it this time "My Son Has Autism". I cried again in the car on the way home, but I knew it was time to brush myself off and do everything I could for my son. My son was going to be the best he could be, whatever that may be. I was going to research and study like I had never done in my whole life. I was his mother and I was supposed to help to guide him and teach him and be there for him whether it was till he was an adult or longer! I couldn't do that if I was to drown in my own sorrows and denial. So I went on my mission and my promise to my son was to "Never Give Up" and "Never Give In" and I will keep that promise to him and do everything I can do, to help him be the best he is possible to be, whatever that is.    "I Love You, Brandon" 
  My son is much better now, but my promise is still there for however long he needs it.

  One last thought:  If you don't let go of your sorrow, you can't help your children live their best tomorrow.

Saturday, May 28, 2011

Imagination Unexpected

  When Brandon was diagnosed I was told that typically with Autistic children there is not really a sense of humor and that imagination is lacking because they tend to take things in a more  literal sense.Well whenever I am told something like this I am determined to see if I can change that, this would be yet another aspect of Autism I would not accept unless absolutely necessary, maybe he just needed to be taught what imagination was.
   We started with just little noises, bird sounds, snake hisses and things like that and saying I'm a bird, I'm a snake and then I would run around the house with arms out saying I'm a plane and he would mimic me and do the same. I figured, okay he's just copying me but at least it was a start, the issue of a sense of humor being taught I wasn't really sure of how to get that even started though, so it would have to wait and maybe it would come to me, one thing at a time.
   One day when we were doing our imagination therapy, that's what I will call it, we were crawling on the floor and roaring like lions, then we were lifting our trunks like elephants and of course he was still just copying me. Well as we were being elephants , Brandon decided we should be dogs, I thought this was great that he was actually wanting to get in on the act of what we would imagine. So as Brandon and I were crawling and barking like dogs, I heard him what I thought was hissing behind me, I was thinking now we were going to be snakes, but as I turned around I realized I was wrong, Brandon had his leg lifted so I asked him what he was doing he said he was a dog peeing and then could not control his laughter, nor could I! Not only did my son have imagination but he also had a sense of  humor.
   He now loves to use his imagination, some days he even says he's the mommy or the daddy and imitates us to make us laugh, that's his sense of humor kicking in, I'm so glad that I didn't accept what was said and tried anyway, I might have missed out on this.

Saturday, May 21, 2011

No Vacation Needed "I Love You"

 "The Morning My Son Said Mommy, I Love You"

     The morning my son said Mommy, I love you, was what I thought was going to be a typical morning, when I say typical I mean in the sense of autism typical for us. For the last year and a half we had been struggling with many ups and downs. The downs being major meltdowns, no speech, frequent illness and constipation, no eye contact, repeating(echoing) to the point of wanting to cover your ears and loud squealing that would vibrate your eardrums etc... The ups being spontaneous speech breakthroughs, eye contact occasionally, smiles and sleeping through the night without fits of fear. He had also started playing with toys in the manner in which they should be played with and started to give us hugs , I so cherished the hugs.
      The night before this typical morning, I thought I needed a vacation from this, something to give me the strength and energy to keep going, a refresher for autism mommy hood. As I laid and slept on this particular morning I was woke up by my son saying Mommy, I had heard him say this before but what I heard next would make me sit straight up in bed. He said "I LOVE YOU", I looked at him and saw the biggest smile on his little face as he looked right at me. Those three words brought tears to my eyes, I had waited for four and a half years to hear those words,  that I did not know if I would ever hear.
       Thank you Brandon for the renewed strength, No Vacation Needed !

Monday, May 9, 2011

Balancing Autism and Finances

    Things in my world lately have been a little overwhelming, so I thought I would share a little bit of this with you in hopes also that you would share with me your thoughts on this subject.
     In my family right now we are really fighting to keep our head above water, the economy is really starting to kick our butts. The business we are in is a luxury, we both are hairstylists so when it comes to cutbacks in a family's budget we are one of the first ones people cut back on., so I figured since I am on the internet so much any how, I would try to supplement our income at the same time, not going so well. I refuse to give up because my son needs this, if our ship sinks so does his. Doing hair for a living was perfect before because I could schedule my customers around my son's therapies and school. I have applied for jobs but I can't seem to get one that I can work around my son, I don't want to get a job where his schedule is all out of wack and stressful for him, he his doing so well I just can't take the chance of him regressing, this is not an option.We are also down to being a one car family which makes things even more complicated.
     I am feeling very overwhelmed right now, so I guess what I am asking for is help. I really need some advice from all of you, my head is spinning on what I can do, but  I still am without an answer , could you help me figure this out? Any advice is so welcomed, maybe if I see it written in words it will all make sense.
                                                                          Thank you, Teena and Brandon

Monday, April 25, 2011

Improve Autism Awareness

I was tweeting with someone tonight about Autism and how little people actually know and how we need to somehow educate people  not only about how prevalent Autism is but exactly what it is. People really don't know, some think it is a stage in childhood some children go through, that they will eventually grow out of it. So I've started a new blog for everyone, typical families are urged to come and get educated by the Autism community, by sharing in what we deal with on a day to day basis. I am also welcoming all other Autism blogs to post their blog link here also. This Blog is about Autism Awareness all year long. Thank you, Teena
                                                          P.S: I'm looking forward to it :)